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cosmictuesdays: nadiacreek: coelasquid: deformutilated: Fudge recipe on a headstone I feel like I should make this just to be able to say a dead person taught me how to make it. Maybe Iâ€™ll do it for Halloween. I desperately hope that she spent

thats why pearl necklaces are so expensive!!!

wifeswickedlust: My co-worker, Sally, is the biggest flirt in the office. She loves to tease but tells everyone that she is happily married and would never cheat on her husband. One evening at an after-work party we all got pretty drunk. I asked

That’s bloody hilarious ;)

That joke is too well worn to be funny anymore

That joke is barely tolerable

That deserves a double

thats-so-meme: Submitted by elfrisi

A drawing of a joke once made by @that-three-anon (FA, HD, Textless)

morivan: naughtyvixens: happy 413 or whatever These are the kinds of crack pairings that make all the best… L E M O N S ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! christ almighty, griff

“that’s not ballet, more like valet parking.”

alohomorashlie: #ashlie look #okay so #this is him #after he plops onto your bed right next to you #and he’s doing this little pose #and he’s trying to tell you jokes and supposedly funny stories #and trying to seduce you

pragmatic-supervillain: drowranger: ottenskjold: matthewsagan: tryin to write a joke that won’t offend anyone on tumblr this is the worst post ive ever seen if you have trouble making jokes that arent racist, homophobic, or misogynistic then

lizardsister: literally the most BASIC holocaust/sociology class will teach you that jokes targeted at a specific group of people are one of the base steps of oppression and eventual genocide because it dehumanizes a group and once a group is seen less

drunkonschadenfreude:i love it when video games give me meaningful dialogue choices that are going to influence the story

A man & a Giraffe walk into a bar, the Giraffe passes out & the man goes to leave. The bartender says “Are you going to leave that lying there?” And the man says “Thats not a lion, that’s a Giraffe!” :3

that joke would of been even more funny if Daphne was drinking milk lol XD

That is SUCH a sad thought…

That one friend with the fucked-up sense of humor:

shutup-and-3at: okay so as my history teacher is handing out our textbooks, he stops and says, and i’m not joking, why did they put Morgan Freeman on the cover. morgan freeman. YOUR HISTORY TEACHER?!

That’s us and we rule!

voiceactresskurutta: just-shower-thoughts: I just realized that “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side” is a joke about suicide I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN WONDERING FOREVER HOW THAT JOKE WAS AN ACTUAL JOKEAND NOW IT’S EVEN WORSE

thefrenchwall: lohannahmontana: this pisses me off every time because the people do not understand that Marc Jacobs is funny and he was making a joke and now you are acting like you are the one making the joke in this situation oh my god Marc Jacobs

homojabi: Halloween reminder: don’t wear a hijab as a joke! Don’t go as a “terrorist”! Don’t go as a stereotype or caricature! Don’t go as a “sexy Arab” or as a member of the Taliban or ISIS! It’s not funny and it increases the amount

thatonecubjon: sodomymcscurvylegs: sodomymcscurvylegs: sodomymcscurvylegs: Okay, okay! Are you ready for a joke? Okay, here it goes:What kind of profile pictures do crustaceans prefer? Shellfies! This post cost me five followers. well worth it

alphamelociraptor: camibech: Please spread this. While it wasn’t the best place to make this reference, he wasn’t trying to be an asshole. okay, explaining the joke doesn’t make it okay. especially when the joke is punchline about a man dressing

thats-so-meme: via

the-real-goddamazon: speedlimit15: exeggcute: why is it that villains and not protagonists are always the ones breaking gender roles hmmmm it’s called queercoding and it’s intentional and basically brainwashes kids into having negative associations

Joke of the day.

also noah fence but do people not realize that there are game modes outside of comp bc i lit had someone say to me when i recently started playing comp and was only in gold go “almost level 600 and still in gold.” like okay first of all, binch, i

dumb-science-jokes: This joke is both good and bad.

death-limes: naamahdarling: adventurotica: I am laughing unreasonably hard at this. I am ASHAMED that it took me nearly one full minute to get it. this is so perfect jesus christ am i even real

weaintaboutshit: plotprincessss: itsduonne: fxckaurl: takawaste: good lmao I’m sick of this trend of dudes fake cheating on their girls it’s not funny and he deserved that Right. I'da ducked his shit up to Wow You three trifling as fuck and

micdotcom: After Darsh’s photo was used in an Islamophobic “joke,” the internet rallied around him in love and respect. His response on MSNBC is the definition of poise and rising above the hate.

megillien: Posting this commission because this lovely lady was sweet enough to let me share it with you guys [though lol joke’s on me since no one’s online now] before uploading it to her gallery -which is all kinds of wonderful and deserves a browse

zephoenixwriter: superhnatural: the-tardis-landed-in-my-bedroom: This guys has made a TARDIS that is bigger on the inside No joke my jaw actually dropped this man needs an award

herzspalter: Rodimus visits the medbay every day to deliver more jokes he thinks are new and witty but actually aren’t. Please forgive the awful gif quality that destroyed some colors :( It looks better in full view!

supersailormoonsays: thesanityclause: These are the jokes 100% accurate.

"things that lasted longer than kim kardashian's wedding"

lauriejuspeczyk: If you don’t understand why people don’t like the big bang theory, once in an episode the cast was at a comic store browsing and a woman walked in, and one of the leads said “Is she lost?” and that was the joke.

so if i am a feedist and i like lifting weights, does that mean i could be forever bulking? man, i wonder what PRs i would hit, lol

thisiscitylab: “‘There’s always that joke that there’s a Starbucks on every corner,’ says Justin Grimes, a statistician with the Institute of Museum and Library Services in Washington. ‘But when you really think about it, there’s a public

That awkward moment when you start telling a story and you realise no one’s listening, so you slowly fade out and pretend you never said anything.

stinson-rocks: dickspeightjr: teffysayshi: dickspeightjr: this is the left half of a gay man because gays do not have rights ummm excuse me that’s actually his right half ur excused what this posts actually means is that gays do have rights

lokilaufeysonthefrostgiant: lokisdeviouspurpose: Cancer jokes are not funny. Cancer jokes are not funny. Cancer jokes are not funny. Cancer jokes are not funny. CANCER JOKES ARE NOT FUCKING FUNNY. Agreed!I have had at least three grandparents pass

That awkward moment when your family incests that you have sex with them

Can I just say real quick that jokes about serious topics aren’t always bad. It’s not uncommon for me to joke about things like death and anorexia because I’ve experienced it personally and it makes me feel a little better that I’m

urainiumbombs: ohheytayla: ewitsgeo: alexandertalisker: jumpingpuddles: The Incredibles (2004) DID DASH JUST MAKE A JOKE ABOUT HIS SISTER SUCKING SOMEONE… No wonder why she attacked him. I NEVER GOT THAT JOKE WHEN I WAS LITTLE I ALWAYS THOUGHT

I am beyond weak rn 😂😂😂😂😂😂😇😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 👈🏾😐 that is Bobby Valentino by the way😝 it’s like bro what are you thinking 🤔 #laugh #jokes #funny

spookylangsettte:popped my collar as a sick joke but kind of obsessed.. also obsessed with my natasha zhinko mink kitten heels .. j’ad animals but also j’ad fur so .. ty to the iconic natasha team for mi prezziez 🎁

pedropascals: I asked my lawyer if I could make that joke and he said, “let me call another lawyer”, and that lawyer said yes. JOHN MULANEYSATURDAY NIGHT LIVE 02/29/2020

I thought I got a text from a friend, but I forgot I signed up for text alerts from the place I get my eyebrows threaded and they were just alerting me that I’m due to get my brows cleaned the fuck up :/

zero-the-her0: Weiss making jokes that no one understands Weiss making jokes in a language that no one understands Weiss making jokes

HA JOKES ONE YOU, ITS ONLY 2 IN THE MORNING WHERE I LIVE HAHAHAHA I AM AN ETERNAL FLAME, BABY

commander-homosexual: erenbaegerr: commander-homosexual: “Amari” “أمري” means “my moon/one’s moon”.(Egyptian dialect) The “you put the amar in Amari” joke amuses me so much and sometimes I don’t think y’all realise just

bismuth:some people questioned why the car was melting if the poison only affects organic life, and it seems like it’s confirmed to be an animation error!! in the “true kinda love” animatic commentary, joe johnston says that it wasn’t supposed

i am announcing now that i am leaving the fandom i felt that everyone should know

yu-ki-oh: no joke there is an annual migration of literally TENS OF THOUSANDS OF TARANTULAS here in texas, apparently it used to get so bad that highway police would shut off sections of the interstate to allow the spiders to cross safely. the migration

blushing-bertholdt: thearminarlelt: i like how the fandom just silently all knows that bertholdt probably has a big dick i never see it discussed but everyone agrees as far as ive seen i think thats magical [nervous sweating]i bet you all peeked didn’t

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